Hahn and her fishy interview.
Not too long ago, violinist Hilary Hahn posted a video on YouTube of an interview she conducted with a fish. (I’ve re-posted it below.) Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties, it seems that the fish’s microphone wasn’t working very well, and only Hahn’s questions can be clearly heard on the video clip. However, with the aid of some advanced sound-enhancement technology, I was able to just barely make out the fish’s responses. Here’s a transcript of the complete interview.
HH: Hello, this is Hilary Hahn. I’m here in a dressing room in Paris, to interview –
HH: Hello, this is Hilary Hahn. I’m here in a dressing room in Paris, to interview –
JH: – Jascha Heifish. Nice to meet you, Hilary!
HH: Welcome – nice to have you here! So what made you decide to become a fish?
JH: It seemed like the best option at the time. And of course everyone else in my family was also a fish. That may have influenced my decision.
HH: Was it something you always wanted to do – be a fish?
JH: I once thought of becoming a fireman – but looking back on that, I can see it wasn’t a line of work I was well suited to. I think that being a fish has worked out better than the fireman idea would have.
HH: I could see that. You’re a betta, and you came from Thailand, I presume, because bettas are Siamese fighting fish. So can you tell us a little bit about that trip? What was that like for you?
JH: Not every betta gets to end up in a bowl in Paris. The competition is intense, and I really had to fight my way out of the rice paddy and on to the international fishbowl circuit.
HH: That must have been a culture shock!
JH: Believe me, a fishbowl is nothing like a rice paddy!
HH: When you first got to your new home, what did you think of it?
JH: To be honest, my initial impression was that the orange plastic flowers were horrid! But I needed something fast, so I had to take the place as is. One of these days I’ll bring a decorator in here, and have some work done.
HH: Was it comfortable? Was it chlorinated?
JH: One of the things you have to deal with on the international fishbowl circuit is the chlorine. In some places it was so bad that I had to have a “no chlorine” clause put in my contract. So now things are better.
HH: So where are you living now? I mean, I see the bowl – but where are you located? What city?
JH: When you're looking at the world out of a fishbowl, one city starts to look pretty much like any other. What’s important to me is not where I am, but that my audience truly appreciates what I have to say.
HH: Do you get to explore very much, or are you really busy with work?
JH: I have a pretty demanding schedule, because in a fishbowl you’re on stage all the time.
HH: I can imagine!
JH: My fans have high expectations – and, I must say, can sometimes be a little intrusive. But my duty to my public is a responsibility that I take very seriously.
HH: It must be quite a challenge.
JH: It’s hard to make room for any kind of private life: time for friends, family and vacations.
HH: How do you balance all of that?
JH: I’ve learned that the best way to deal with it is to just go with the flow.
HH: Do you have any advice for people who would like to become fish, someday – and how you get started?
JH: The first thing you have to understand is that there are a lot of fish in the sea. So to get anywhere you have to be noticed. Winning a major competition can help – and of course you’ll need a good manager who really believes in you.
HH: And what’s your favourite thing about it – about this lifestyle of being in a bowl?
JH: One of the nice things about being a fish is that your memory only lasts for about 30 seconds. I can swim all the way around the bowl, and by the time I get back to where I started, I think I’m in a new place that I’ve never been in before. Life is a non-stop adventure for a fish in a bowl!
HH: It sounds wonderful!
JH: It works for me.
HH: Thank you for joining us today, and for introducing yourself. I have to say you are the first betta I have ever interviewed, so thank you for the honour. I guess we’ll be watching your work. Good luck! Bye!
HH: Welcome – nice to have you here! So what made you decide to become a fish?
JH: It seemed like the best option at the time. And of course everyone else in my family was also a fish. That may have influenced my decision.
HH: Was it something you always wanted to do – be a fish?
JH: I once thought of becoming a fireman – but looking back on that, I can see it wasn’t a line of work I was well suited to. I think that being a fish has worked out better than the fireman idea would have.
HH: I could see that. You’re a betta, and you came from Thailand, I presume, because bettas are Siamese fighting fish. So can you tell us a little bit about that trip? What was that like for you?
JH: Not every betta gets to end up in a bowl in Paris. The competition is intense, and I really had to fight my way out of the rice paddy and on to the international fishbowl circuit.
HH: That must have been a culture shock!
JH: Believe me, a fishbowl is nothing like a rice paddy!
HH: When you first got to your new home, what did you think of it?
JH: To be honest, my initial impression was that the orange plastic flowers were horrid! But I needed something fast, so I had to take the place as is. One of these days I’ll bring a decorator in here, and have some work done.
HH: Was it comfortable? Was it chlorinated?
JH: One of the things you have to deal with on the international fishbowl circuit is the chlorine. In some places it was so bad that I had to have a “no chlorine” clause put in my contract. So now things are better.
HH: So where are you living now? I mean, I see the bowl – but where are you located? What city?
JH: When you're looking at the world out of a fishbowl, one city starts to look pretty much like any other. What’s important to me is not where I am, but that my audience truly appreciates what I have to say.
HH: Do you get to explore very much, or are you really busy with work?
JH: I have a pretty demanding schedule, because in a fishbowl you’re on stage all the time.
HH: I can imagine!
JH: My fans have high expectations – and, I must say, can sometimes be a little intrusive. But my duty to my public is a responsibility that I take very seriously.
HH: It must be quite a challenge.
JH: It’s hard to make room for any kind of private life: time for friends, family and vacations.
HH: How do you balance all of that?
JH: I’ve learned that the best way to deal with it is to just go with the flow.
HH: Do you have any advice for people who would like to become fish, someday – and how you get started?
JH: The first thing you have to understand is that there are a lot of fish in the sea. So to get anywhere you have to be noticed. Winning a major competition can help – and of course you’ll need a good manager who really believes in you.
HH: And what’s your favourite thing about it – about this lifestyle of being in a bowl?
JH: One of the nice things about being a fish is that your memory only lasts for about 30 seconds. I can swim all the way around the bowl, and by the time I get back to where I started, I think I’m in a new place that I’ve never been in before. Life is a non-stop adventure for a fish in a bowl!
HH: It sounds wonderful!
JH: It works for me.
HH: Thank you for joining us today, and for introducing yourself. I have to say you are the first betta I have ever interviewed, so thank you for the honour. I guess we’ll be watching your work. Good luck! Bye!
© Colin Eatock 2011
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